Friday 23/10/09


I Sometimes attend a Salsa class. And one day I will succumb to the pressure of giving you the address of the YouTube clip, which features a gangly cab driver with two left feet strutting his stuff on the dance floor! A clip my teacher has cheekily uploaded. (If the truth be known, our teacher is very proud of the progress we have made in a short space of time.)


After burning up so many calories on the dance floor, it’s essential for me to replace all that lost energy, so my first port of call after the class finishes is the Brick Lane Bagel Bake. However, visiting such a place /area on Friday night does have its issues… for me, the main issue is the fact that I tend to be the only person on the whole street who is not under the influence of alcohol or other hallucinogenic substances!


My second dance class of the evening took place inside the Bagel Bake. Saturday Night Fever came on the radio, and the people in the queue, as well as the staff began to jive, naturally I joined in, as well as observing the moves of the other dancers/drunks. I left the shop thinking that all them 2-hour Salsa classes were at last starting to pay off !

A short while later, whilst in the comfort and safety of the back of my cab, I joyfully munched away on a Salt Beef Bagel, and began to people watch. It’s amazing what you can observe from the back of a parked up taxi in Brick Lane, in the space of Seven minutes…


A group of posh ladies in pretty & expensive frocks stand outside the Bagel Bake sipping wine out of a bottle, each waiting impatiently for the bottle to come back around to them. The posh ladies are brushing shoulders with a group of homeless men and women who are arguing about what a cash donation should be spent on and which one them should keep the change. People young and old walk rapidly past my cab eating bagels out of brown paper bags. Loud music thumped out of a nearby bar, a doorman stands outside looking bored and constantly checking his watch. At a nearby apartment block, a young oriental girl presses aggressively on the communal entrance buzzer.  A CCTV camera mounted on enormous pole peers down at everyone and everything. A street gang bowl past my cab, purposely elbowing people, their plan being to instigate a response. A cyclist, who is pulling a wheelie, rides past my cab, he is cycling the wrong way down a one-way street. A man turns the corner unzips his trousers and begins to urinate against a fence, he is completely oblivious to me and the rest of the street. The girl who was pressing the buzzer has now resorted to shouting up to the apartment in the hope of getting the inhabitants attention. Three Taxi’s drive past my taxi. Their orange for hire lights looking like enormous fireflies. A man is now shouting down from the apartment block, and the girl on the street takes a few steps back and kneels down to pick up a set of keys which the man has thrown down to her. She lets herself into the apartment and has an expression of somebody who should not have to go through such rigmarole. I open the rear door of my taxi-cab and climb into the front seat.  I put the keys into the ignition and pull away… it’s now time for me to go to work……..


It was only a matter of time before I came home with a clipboard full of foul language and falic symbols!!  Personally I was expecting this to happen on a Friday night in December with a drunken office party being responsible, however it happened tonight and the culprits were a bunch of drunken twenty something school teachers! Maybe they were replicating the words and symbols they’d seen on the textbooks of the kids they teach!

Anyway with the rough came the smooth, Joe, Nadine, Jez and Tracey you all played a massive part in turning the water into wine. Your contributions and presence were greatly appreciated.

“Television is an invention which allows you to be entertained in your living room by someone you wouldn’t have in your home.”

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

“Come the f#ck in, or f#ck the f#ck off.”

Nadine & Jez , Television & Adverts. (the above three) Nadine and Jez told me that the first quote is from  Sir David Frost, the second quote from  Winston Churchill, and the third quote from the The Thick Of It.

“You’re a long time dead.”

“When a mixed aged group gets together, everybody brings something to the table.”

Tracey (the above two)

“Love is kind, love is patient, love is never jealous.”


“When someone stops learning he is old.”

Joe, Property/Finance

“Winning is not about beating one’s opponent, it’s about getting out of a situation.”


“Choose your battles wise.”

John, Production


Falic symbols and bad language can turn up on clipboards and brickwalls!




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