TWO LESBAINS AND A DOUBLE BASE
No, I’ve not just come out with a derogatory comment, these were the exact words that Kerry and Anne came out with when they entered my cab! As they struggled to get into the cab with an enormous Double Base and a chair to accompany the instrument, I heard the comment “I don’t suppose the cabbie picks up two lesbians carrying a Double Base that often!” To which I responded “its not an everyday occurrence but perfectly ok!” It was great to speak to two ladies who were so open and comfortable with their own sexuality. And Kerry who plays for a symphony orchestra gave me the impression that my quote project had been a positive influence on a course that she was about to embark on.
Next in were Johnnie and his partner; they wanted to be taken to Lewisham. A fun loving, rational, and professional couple who were both very creative. Johnnie’s ambition was to publish a book on London pubs. I mentioned that if he needs help on the research side of things, he could give me a shout! Its kind and level headed passengers like these two that make the job bearable and worth doing.
Another perk of this job is the eye candy, and Isabelle from France certainly topped the shifts hot appearance category.
Then came Charles and Sylvie, an elderly old school sought of the earth South London couple. It was a short journey so I delivered my pitch immediately. Charles gave me the impression that he needed all this like a hole in the head! However, once I had explained that it was a nonprofit making project and it offered me the potential of a bit of self enlightenment, I got the support of Sylvie, who then barked at Charles
” YOU’RE EVER PLAYING THE GAME OR YOU’RE NOT. “
If lesbians had stolen the limelight earlier in the evening, and gorgeous Isabelle a little later, it was the now the time of the gay man. Barry and co had been on a large bender, as they put it! ( To those who don’t understand English slang, this means a big night out (most of the time)) A joyful bunch who thought methodically before contributing with a quote, eventually Barry answered with
” IF HIS CRABS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS, HE GAVE THEM TO YA ! “
If you could have witnessed the gay passenger’s debate, which continued in the back of the cab after this quote was made, you would still be laughing now!!! It wasn’t exactly a Darwin theory but comical it was…..
Enough was enough, my last fare had taken me in a homeward bound direction, and all that was left for me to do was have a feeling of complacency for my scribble filled clipboard, and ponder whether I could make head or tail of any of the handwriting on it ! As well as reminisce about a mixed bunch of passengers ( far too many to mention them all ) which consisted of lesbians brandishing a Double Base, a stunning female French passengers, who I liked to think was giving me the eye, a gay Bloke who swore blind that his theory on Crabs was 100% right. And let’s not forget the carpenter who recited Shakespeare’s quote on flatulence!
And just think I nearly didn’t go to work !
“When someone is upset, all there is to do is love them, and get that they are upset, no one needs fixing.”
Kerry & Anne, Bristol
“It’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees.”
“Better to have loved and lost, than to live with the crazy for the rest of your life.”
“Figure out how dumb you are, then do what you can.”
“Never explain, never complain.”
“Never get drunk with people you don’t know.”
“Don’t tie your shoelaces in a revolving door.”
Anonymous (the above five)
“Don’t pay the ferry man until he gets you to the other side.”
“Blow wind and crack your cheeks.” Shakespeare
Khayter, 24, Carpenter