Month: November 2010

“Not finding out the sex of your unborn baby is a great lesson in allowing your children to have secrets from you.”

Harriet, 29, London (seven and a half months’ pregnant.)

“Never show emotions in letters.”

Claire, 32, Solicitor

“Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life.”

Lucy, Production (Documentary Maker)

“I’m not homophobic, I love my house.”Peter Kay

Anonymous

“Mr cab driver, I’ve got zero to offer, but normally I’ve got so much to say.”

“Life is only the beginning. Don’t get held up at the end – enjoy the journey.”

Steve (the above two)

“You get what you get, and you don’t get upset.”

Connie, Mother, Chicago

“The second mouse gets the cheese.”

Alan, Programmer, Australia,

“My wife never knew I drunk till I came home sober one night.”

“My wife said to me, I fancy going somewhere different, I said try the kitchen!”

“It’s never over, cos there’s always something around the corner.”

Jeff  & Glen, East London (the above three)

“If you sleep with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas.” Ashanti proverb

My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” Dalai Lama

Kobi, Crerative Director (the above two)

“If you want to achieve in life you have to believe in yourself.”

“In tough times, think of other people.”

Arthur L (the above two)

“Always pack flat shoes.”

Debs, Senior PA

“What do you mean it’s £15 & £4 a pint,

What you meant was £15 and £8 for a pint of non alcoholic beer.

There are two girls down there and they look like dead dogs !!

Give me back my f**king money.”

“NO REFUNDS.”

Anonymous

“There is no right or wrong – only differences.”

Kelvin L, Marketing Manager, London & Singapore

“Go n-eirl an bothair leat” – Irish for “May the road ride with you.”

Niamh, Lawyer

“You ever noticed how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together..? I believe god created me in one day. Yeah looks like he rushed it. Bill Hicks, comic, writer RIP

Anonymous

“My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.”

Sally F, Publisher

A Three year old boy is examining his testicles whilst taking a bath “Mum” he asked,  “are these my brains?”  “Not yet” she replied.

Anonymous, Magazine Editor

“You’re not made of sugar are you?”

Hiske, Holland –This is a Dutch phrase which is directed at someone who complains about rain…

“English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway.”

Mathew Reeney,  Language school teacher,  http://www.londonsol.com/

“Victory attained by violence is tantamount to defeat, for it is momentary.” Mahatma Ghandi

Anonymous

“I’m dating two anorexics at the moment, two birds, one stone.”

David Gibson, Comedian

“Your friends are your family of choice.”

Wendy

“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f**king big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of f**king fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing f**king junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, f**ked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life…But why would I want to do a thing like that?” Extract fromTrainspotting (1996 movie)

James D, Banking

“I bought a book on procrastination, but I haven’t got around to reading it.”

Richard, Composer

“The most interesting people have a lot of baggage, don’t they?”

Annie

I shall not pass this way again…

“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing,
therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”  Stephen Grellet, French-born Quaker Minister

William, Semi Retired

“Life will be worthwhile if you just smile.”

Anonymous

“I live my life in the city and there’s no easy way out.”

Paul, Hard working City Worker…